2024 Awards Gallery

States of Mind

In a room in a room

among rooms a squirrel

opens a machine,

unscrews a thought

with a twisted center of rust.

The squirrel turns and turns and turns

and the thought grates.

And meanwhile the squirrel

presses buttons.

Plenty in the glittery

nut of the machine,

too many to name.

A white button

that grips the machine with ice

until it sags in shame

and gurgles just above it.

A blue button that overheats the machine

as it rolls back and forth

and back on its wheels

and chews batteries like fingernails.

A baffling gray button that needs

a song on a broken record

or none at all.

A black button,

which gnashes wires,

that the squirrel cannot,

must not

find.

A clear button

for panic, for panic, for panic.

The light flickered out.

It’s supposed to be red.

Recently there has also been a mauve button

that blows a sunny whisper

silky as a cocoon

through the panic, the dying,

the nothing,

the burning, the crying

the screwing until

the metal sighs,

is still.

In the Pain is Beauty

At 2am, my usually serene teen sister
storms into the house
with the acrid bomb in her heart
she has been harboring all summer
since returning from the city

She is screaming at Mom
something about tampons
a bathroom
another family

I crawl out of bed and tip-toe
on naked feet across the cold wood floor

Screaming usually means I am in trouble
so if someone else is in it, I am on it
I am Clark Gable in It Happened One Night
ready to get the scoop

I’m sitting on our worn wood stairs
just beyond the point where wall turns to railing
so my ears cannot be seen
Three steps separate my feet and heart
After ninety minutes of this, my butt goes numb
My frustration gauge soars like a furious hygrometer
My sister yells in hieroglyphics
and I am no Rosetta Stone
But as my brain slowly deciphers
I fetal up
and spiral into myself because now
that’s all there is

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There comes a day when your parents become humans
When the father you’ve admired all your life is suddenly
Fallible
Flawed
Foolish
Our relationship is now gan ga (Mandarin: “awkward; embarrassed”)
For 16 years, I assumed my dad always did the right thing with us in mind
And then I think, Maybe I’m not in his mind after all

And I had to sit with that for awhile
And I had to run from that for awhile
And I tell myself I was not bothered
But I was already too far away to hear

So I sit here with my heart in my hands
seeking comfort in quoted wisdom

David Foster Wallace –
“Sometimes human beings have to just sit in one place and, like, hurt.”
And so I do

Alain de Botton
“We are inherently flawed and broken beings. Perfection is beyond us”
Yet still I strive

And I learn the people we love the most
wield the power to hurt us the most
But that is just part of living
That is just part of loving
For what is life – and what is love – but choosing the courage to embrace what hurts
Because in the pain is beauty

And so my clutching fingers relax
and rest on the keyboard
and I breathe
and I write:
Staring into clouds
            From my colossal white tower
            Getting a wound
            From a well-thrown flower
            Then suddenly,
            Falling down with grace
            As blood seeps through
            I begin to taste

Get Better Sleep Using Meditation and Mindfulness

Meditation and mindfulness are powerful tools to improve sleep by calming the mind, reducing stress, and creating a peaceful atmosphere. By practicing techniques such as guided meditation, body scan, or mindful breathing before bed, you can help your body relax, lower your heart rate, and prepare for restorative sleep. These practices help to quiet the racing thoughts that often interfere with sleep and promote a sense of calm and present-moment awareness.

The benefits of incorporating meditation and mindfulness into your nightly routine include reduced stress, improved sleep quality, better emotional regulation, and a more restful night. Simple steps like setting aside 15-20 minutes before bed for meditation, using guided apps, and creating a relaxing sleep environment can make a significant difference. Additionally, adopting a consistent sleep schedule and limiting screen time before bed can enhance the effects of these mindfulness practices. By making meditation a regular part of your bedtime routine, you can enjoy deeper, more restful sleep.

Stress and Coping

Stress creeps in, a silent storm,
A rush of thoughts, a shifting norm.
The heart beats faster, the mind feels tight,
Lost in worries, far from light.

The body aches, the chest feels weighed,
In every breath, anxiety is laid.
But in the chaos, there’s a way,
To find some peace and break the sway.

Mindfulness whispers, soft and clear,
“Be present, breathe, let go of fear.”
Support from others, a friendly hand,
Together we cope, together we stand.

Acceptance follows, a gentle grace,
Letting go of things we can’t erase.
Stress will come, but we can choose,
To cope with it and not to lose.

In the garden of the mind, thoughts bloom like flowers, Each petal a whisper of dreams once sown, Here, amidst the verdant quiet of inner bowers, We cultivate the seeds of peace we’ve known.

With gentle hands, we tend the soil of soul, Uprooting weeds of worry, doubt, and fear, In their place, we plant the goals that make us whole, Watering with hope, what we hold dear.

Sunlight filters through the canopy of choice, Each ray a possibility of what can be, In this garden, we give our inner voice, The space to speak, to breathe, to see.

But gardens, like minds, require constant care, Neglect but for a moment, and the wild takes hold, So daily we must come to this sacred lair, To nurture the growth, to watch the new replace the old.

In the quietude of this mental expanse, Find strength in solitude, beauty in the fray, For the garden of the mind offers a second chance, To reshape, to rebuild, to convey.

As seasons shift and years like rivers flow, The garden thrives on the love it’s shown, What starts today as a tender, timid glow, Tomorrow, as a mighty garden, fully grown.